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Harte, Bret, 1836-1902

"Drift from Two Shores"

Thet's strychnine. Thet's risers Sardonikus'
(thet's what he said; he was always sorter profane).
"'Why, doctor,' says the widder, 'thet--thet is his last smile.
It's a Christian's resignation.'
"'Thet be blowed; don't tell me,' sez he. 'Hell is full of thet
kind of resignation. It's pizon. And I'll--' Why, dern my skin,
yes we are; yes, it's Joliet. Wall, now, who'd hey thought we'd
been nigh onto an hour."
Two or three anxious passengers from their berths: "Say; look yer,
stranger! Old man! What became of--"
But the One Man and the Other Man had vanished.

MORNING ON THE AVENUE

NOTES BY AN EARLY RISER.

I have always been an early riser. The popular legend that "Early
to bed and early to rise," invariably and rhythmically resulted in
healthfulness, opulence, and wisdom, I beg here to solemnly protest
against. As an "unhealthy" man, as an "unwealthy" man, and
doubtless by virtue of this protest an "unwise" man, I am, I think,
a glaring example of the untruth of the proposition.
For instance, it is my misfortune, as an early riser, to live upon
a certain fashionable avenue, where the practice of early rising is
confined exclusively to domestics.


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