Her mince pies were
abominable; her jam far inferior to that made by his Aunt Sally of
Doemville. Only an unexpected incident kept him equally from the
extreme of listless Sybaritic indulgence, or of morbid cynicism.
Indeed, at the age of twelve, he already had become disgusted with
existence.
He had returned to his wigwam after an exhausting buffalo hunt in
which he had slain two hundred and seventy-five buffalos with his
own hand, not counting the individual buffalo on which he had
leaped so as to join the herd, and which he afterward led into the
camp a captive and a present to the lovely Mushymush. He had
scalped two express riders and a correspondent of the "New York
Herald"; had despoiled the Overland Mail Stage of a quantity of
vouchers which enabled him to draw double rations from the
government, and was reclining on a bear skin, smoking and thinking
of the vanity of human endeavor, when a scout entered, saying that
a pale-face youth had demanded access to his person.
"Is he a commissioner? If so, say that the red man is rapidly
passing to the happy hunting-grounds of his fathers, and now
desires only peace, blankets, and ammunition; obtain the latter and
then scalp the commissioner.
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