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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 102, February 13, 1892"

A _man_ who could swallow that gem is a goose."
I am presenting my esteemed collection of ancient engraved stones to
my nephew at school, who shows all the character of the collector.
He may swop them for bats, or tarts, or he may learn wisdom from the
misfortunes of his uncle.
* * * * *
IN THIS STYLE, SIX-AND-EIGHTPENCE.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ (_rising to cross-examine_). Then you assert that
the golden dinner-service which we are inquiring about was in your
possession on the evening of July 26th at half-past eight o'clock?
_Plaintiff._ I do.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ And that when you went to take them out of the
strong-box at 9:15 for your party they had disappeared?
_Plaintiff._ Quite so.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ Pardon my suggesting such a thing, but I
am instructed to ask you whether, when you paid L800 to the
rate-collector for arrears of rates on the very next day, you had not
obtained that sum by selling a portion of this gold plate yourself?
_The Judge._ Really, Mr. BADGERER, this won't do at all. "Legal
bullying" is a thing of the past, and I shall have to commit you for
contempt if you make these unworthy suggestions to the Witness.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ But, m'Lud, the whole point of the defence is
that the Plaintiff himself sto--
_The Judge_ (_hastily interposing_). --Sh! You must not talk like
that. Remember that "the floor of the Court is _not_ the same thing as
the interior of a coal-barge.


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