O my God, if I was moved by Thee, fasten
conviction upon his conscience.--I accompanied Mrs. K. to collect for
the Clothing Society, and while our benevolent friends bestowed upon
us the mammon of unrighteousness, the Lord blessed me with the true
riches.--Having taken a little cold, I was dull of hearing, and afraid
that I should not be able to hear the members of my class in the
evening. I betook myself to prayer, and the Lord graciously heard,
and so far restored me, that I had no difficulty. My soul was like wax
before the sun, while Jesus shone upon it.--My mind has been reproved
for reproving. Lord, I thank Thee for Thy secret admonitions; forgive,
and take all my powers under Thy control. I called to see Mr. Spence;
his natural powers decline, but heaven beams on his countenance. He
said, while he was putting on his neckcloth, in the morning, he had
been struck with the meagre and ghastly appearance he presented in the
glass; but the sweet serenity of his soul compelled him to exclaim,
'Welcome old man! welcome declining age! welcome death!'--I spoke
at the Prayer Leaders' lovefeast, but the enemy troubled me much
afterward: however, this much I will affirm--to the grace of God I owe
my all. I feel decided in my choice, hate sin, have the witness that
I am a child of God, and enjoy the comforts of the Holy Ghost; but
the clear evidence of entire sanctification I do not hold, though I
believe I have many times received it, and for a short time held it;
but, for want of boldly confessing the faith, have lost the blessed
pearl.
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