Yet in private I had sweet communion with
God. I have derived profit from the perusal of Lady Maxwell's Journal.
Some points of her experience correspond with my own: this encourages
me. Nothing seems so desirable, nothing so amiable, as momentary
living to God.--Mr. McKitrick brought me Mrs. King's class-paper,
requesting me to take charge of the class until she recovered. I durst
not refuse it, although I felt my inability very great. My mental
struggles since have been many. It is suggested I am influenced by
pride; that I imagine I can do better than another; only by casting
myself upon God, and resolving to leave myself in His hands, I find
help. O that I were satisfied, I am called to this work! By any means
discover this to me, and fit me by Thy grace; then gladly will I be
spent for Thee, who gavest Thyself an offering for me.--I went in much
fear to meet Mrs. K's little flock, among whom I felt liberty; but
afterward, my uneasy state of mind returned. O God, since all things
are possible to Thee, subdue my heart; let all within and all without
submit to Thy sovereign sway. One of the members requested me to read
the last chapter of the first Epistle of Peter, which I have done
several times, and found it sweet."
As Mrs. K. never recovered, and indeed died shortly after, Mrs. Lyth's
appointment to the office of leader was confirmed; an arrangement,
which, notwithstanding her deep sense of her own insufficiency, met
with the cordial approbation of the class.
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