--Having met with a little disappointment,
my mind is in some degree unhinged; I have been begging of God to
undertake the matter, and overrule all for the best, which I hope has
been the case; yet I find it hard to give up my own will. Lord, help
me. I accompanied my father and mother to see cousin Hannah, who is
apparently declining. Her prospects in life were exceedingly bright,
but happiness is not in them, as there can be no enjoyment without
health. What a mercy, afflictions spring not out of the dust: I am
again called to experience it. Our apprentice, servant maid, and
Eliza, are all in the scarlet fever. Better than I could expect
considering the pressure upon me, I am constrained to say, judgment is
mixed with love. May we lose nothing but dross, and shine brighter for
being in the furnace.--I am informed by letter that cousin Hannah
is no more,--it says nothing how she left this world. I long to
know--will to-morrow inform me? I purpose to be at her funeral, if
God give leave. O Thou, who wast to the Israelites both a pillar and
a cloud, if Thou go not up with us, suffer us not to journey; for Thou
knowest my heart, I wish to please Thee.--We went to Kirkby to the
interment of my late Cousin, who, I am informed, died happily. Nearly
her last intelligible words were, 'Blessed are the pure in heart, for
they shall see God.' So she closed this mortal scene, and left her
blooming prospects, fair estates, and all the bright anticipations of
youth, for the lone silence of the tomb.
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