Conversing on this subject with one of her children at
a late period in life, when her judgment was matured, and her views
of divine truth rendered more clear by her approximation to a better
world, she said, "I lost my peace because I grieved the Lord by a
trifling disposition, but the Lord did not leave me;" then, employing
the language of the lamented David Stoner, she added, "I have been
converted a hundred times." To another of her children, after using
similar language she said with peculiar, emphasis, "I have been aiming
to please God all my life, _I can say that_." Her conviction was that
the work was real, but that at the time, she did not understand the
nature of it; and hence from causes clearly ascertainable, it was as
in many similar cases, soon overshadowed by circumstances of doubt.
The truth is, children are just as capable of _experiencing_ the
grace of God as persons of riper years; but they are not capable of
_defining_ their feelings, or of _understanding_ the great doctrines
of salvation,--and for this very reason, they are more liable to be
subjected to fluctuations both of feeling and purpose. It would be
well if some older people, who do not take the pains to obtain a clear
and intelligent view of the religion they profess, were not equally
unstable and from the same cause; if there was no occasion for the
apostolic admonition, "Be not _children_ in _understanding_; howbeit
in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men.
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