Nothing but tears were sweet to me
and they took my friend's place in my heart's desire.
CHAPTER V
10. But now, O Lord, these things are past and time has
healed my wound. Let me learn from thee, who art Truth, and put
the ear of my heart to thy mouth, that thou mayest tell me why
weeping should be so sweet to the unhappy. Hast thou -- though
omnipresent -- dismissed our miseries from thy concern? Thou
abidest in thyself while we are disquieted with trial after trial.
Yet unless we wept in thy ears, there would be no hope for us
remaining. How does it happen that such sweet fruit is plucked
from the bitterness of life, from groans, tears, sighs, and
lamentations? Is it the hope that thou wilt hear us that sweetens
it? This is true in the case of prayer, for in a prayer there is
a desire to approach thee. But is it also the case in grief for a
lost love, and in the kind of sorrow that had then overwhelmed me?
For I had neither a hope of his coming back to life, nor in all my
tears did I seek this. I simply grieved and wept, for I was
miserable and had lost my joy. Or is weeping a bitter thing that
gives us pleasure because of our aversion to the things we once
enjoyed and this only as long as we loathe them?
CHAPTER VI
11.
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