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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Catherine: a Story"

Frightened by his addresses, the landlady too had
taken flight; and the host was the only person left in the
apartment; who there stayed for interest's sake merely, and listened
moodily to his tipsy guest's conversation. In an hour more, the
whole house was awakened by a violent noise of howling, curses, and
pots clattering to and fro. Forth issued Mrs. Landlady in her
night-gear, out came John Ostler with his pitchfork, downstairs
tumbled Mrs. Cook and one or two guests, and found the landlord and
ensign on the kitchen-floor--the wig of the latter lying, much
singed and emitting strange odours, in the fireplace, his face
hideously distorted, and a great quantity of his natural hair in the
partial occupation of the landlord; who had drawn it and the head
down towards him, in order that he might have the benefit of
pummelling the latter more at his ease. In revenge, the landlord
was undermost, and the Ensign's arms were working up and down his
face and body like the flaps of a paddle-wheel: the man of war had
clearly the best of it.
The combatants were separated as soon as possible; but, as soon as
the excitement of the fight was over, Ensign Macshane was found to
have no further powers of speech, sense, or locomotion, and was
carried by his late antagonist to bed.


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